Marriage Return Policy (There Isn’t One)

One Monday night, I had an interesting conversation with a friend about marriage among the younger generation.

The question came up:

Why are so many marriages struggling so early?

It’s something I’ve thought about for years and even discussed with couples who were dating, engaged, or newly married. Somewhere along the way, the sacredness of marriage started competing with Hollywood expectations, social media fantasies, and our own selfish tendencies.

Too many people walk into marriage without truly thinking it through. Without prayer. Without wise counsel. Without asking God, Is this Your will?

And then we wonder why some unions don’t even make it to the one-year mark before they’re already falling apart.

The Misunderstanding of Roles

I remember once telling a friend that marriage requires submission, and let me clarify, because I can already see the side-eyes. 😄

There is a difference between submission and subservience.

Submission is not about losing your voice. It’s about mutual respect. It’s about trusting, communicating, and allowing each person to walk in the role God designed for them. It’s about partnership under God’s authority—not control by one person.

Marriage is not a power struggle. It’s alignment.

When both husband and wife submit to God first, they are better able to serve each other.

Marriage Is a Commitment to a Whole Person

Marriage is not about trying to “fix” or remodel someone into your ideal version. People don’t magically change because there’s a ring on their finger.

You are marrying a whole person - habits, personality, quirks, and all.

That means:

• You can’t manipulate someone into becoming who you want.
• You can’t expect instant transformation.
• And you certainly can’t build a marriage on potential alone.

Growth happens, yes, but it has to be chosen, nurtured, and prayed through together.

Marriage Begins After the Wedding

The wedding is the celebration.

Marriage is the work.

When the music fades, the photos are framed, and life gets real—that’s when the covenant actually begins.

Are you ready for:

• The little annoyances?
• The misunderstandings?
• The everyday decisions that require patience and grace?

Because those “small things” are where love is either strengthened… or strained.

A Piece of Advice I’ll Never Forget

My aunt, whose marriage I admire deeply, once told me:

“Don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.”

That doesn’t mean dependency. It means choosing someone whose presence in your life reflects purpose, partnership, and calling.

When love is rooted that deeply:

• You extend grace more easily.
• You see beyond flaws.
• You remember why you chose each other in the first place.

The Example That Shaped Me

I grew up watching marriages that lasted decades. My parents, married over 35 years, had their share of ups and downs, disagreements and laughter, challenges and victories.

But their love endured.

Not because it was easy.
Because they stayed committed.

Love that lasts is patient. It’s kind. It withstands pressure. It chooses to remain.

A Word to Singles and Couples Alike

If you’re married, fight for it. There is no return policy.

If you’re not married yet, don’t rush. Use this season to become whole. Pray. Grow. Let God shape your character so that when He brings the right person, you are ready to build something lasting.

Marriage isn’t about escaping loneliness, meeting expectations, or checking a box.

It’s about covenant.

And when God is at the center, that covenant has the strength to endure.

Take the time to prepare for the marriage you’re praying for - so when it comes, you’re ready to honor it.